Diary of a Life Expected

I hear your voice mom, I am so looking forward to look you in the eyes and feel your arms around me. To feel the lips where sweet sounds I hear come from. Do you know that I 'm a girl just like you? I think I have your eyes and smile. I already know that I have your sense of humor. I laugh at the things you say. I feel your goodness.

We're going to have so much fun mom. Finger painting, coloring. I know that you will sit on the floor with me and play Barbie's. You'll have fun showing me how to bake cookies and decorate them, how to fix my hair, you will even let me fix your hair.

We can take walks... I promise to hold your hand. We can pick flowers and make daisy chains. Swing on the swings and make mud pies...I know you will not mind the mess.

I have so much to learn and so many questions I am anxious to ask you; like

Why is the sky blue and the grass green?
How do trees get so tall and how do birds fly?
Why don't we have wings?
Who made up the words?
Who made me?

I will try not to ask them all at once. I am sure that I will have more by the time I can talk.

Mom, as each day goes by, I grow more. I have hair. I have lots of hair. It makes me laugh when I hear you complain about having heart burn and you blame it on me. I have noticed that I have long fingers. Maybe some day I will play the piano or even the violin like you. I love hearing you play.

But mom, I have noticed other things. Some times I am afraid mom. Sometimes I hear a strong, loud voice... so unlike your sweet voice. I feel you tense up and it frightens me. What is that sound? Why do you go near it when it frightens you also? Do we have to be around it? I feel at time pain when the sound is near, what is going on? I am glad that is is not that often...

... Time is getting near mom, I feel it is very near that I am finally going to see you and feel your sweet arms. But something is not right today. That loud voice is back. It seems louder than usual. What is wrong? Owwww. That hurt! Mom what is happing? It hurts so bad. I don't feel well... mom something is so wrong. I feel strange, hard time think, hard to feel. Hard too... I loved you.

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Lord…

Psa 139:13 For You have possessed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother's womb.

Psa 139:14 I will praise You; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are marvelous and my soul knows it very well.

Psa 139:15 My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully formed in the lowest parts of the earth.

Psa 139:16 Your eyes saw my embryo; and in Your book all my members were written, … (Modern King James Version)

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If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse, get help! You do not have to stay... there is help! If not to help your self, then for the children, they need a voice, or at least a chance for one.

National Domestic Violence Hot-Line (1-800-799-7233)

National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-Child... 1-800-422-4453)